ChezJJP       food. brooklyn. eat.

*Butchers are not bitches. They are cool dudes and dudettes that have dedicated their lives to cutting parts of animals so that other people can have a go at them without dragging home huge carcasses into their homes. They are good souls, and one thing we need to do as responsible humans is to stop buying supermarket meat from unkown provenance and instead cultivate a real relationship on a daily basis with the butcher. Two things will happen from this: you will be more aware of what you are eating, and you will broaden you culinary horizon.

These two things will inevitably lead to a better life lived by you, in the selfish sense and in the non -selfish sense. In the non selfish sense, when you interact with a butcher, you will become more conscious of your personal consumption of meat and the impact of you as a individual on the environment. The mere action of not choosing a non-descript package from a sea of identical others will put you on the path to help you realize what it really means to eat meat and why you shouldn't take it for granted. In the selfish sense, you will get to eat better tasting things, you will throw better dinner parties, and men and women will look up in awe at your pseudo expertise and want to have physical relations with you - desperately.

So here are the tips:

1. Make eye contact, be comfortable. Butchers are meat people, but they are also people people. They are very often charming and gregarious, and the best thing you can do, is to have a heart to heart conversation with the person who is going to provide what you are going to eat. If you are all shifty-eyed and uncomfortable, most likely you will walk out of there with an empty wallet and the bottom of the display case. And hey, if you become fast friends, maybe you'll get invited into the meat locker for a glass of homemade wine.

2. Have a price ceiling. You gotta stand by your spending limit. The butcher will respect you more for it and so will you. This means that whatever anyone says, you have to speak up. So, you can say "I need cheaper" or "I can spend more". It goes up and down, but you need to remember these two phrases. No one will laugh at you and you must remember that because you are spending less money, it does not mean you are going to have an inferior meal. Quite on the contrary, if I may say.

3. Know your animal. Hey, if you know what parts go where in a cow, youll be that much less clueless when youre there. Basically, you will need to know, either by asking "what part of the cow or pig is this?" or by studying books, which cuts are which, which require longer or shorter cooking times, and which are likely to be more expensive. An example would be like this: Rib-eye steak: likely to be more expensive, shorter cooking time vs. beef chuck: cheap and long cooking time.

4. Point! (And ask "how much is this?"). In order to respect the price ceiling you need to know what is being weighed and how much it is, Otherwise you will fall into the all too easy death trap of the butcher sealing the bag and you just spent 80 bucks because you didn't have the guts to ask how much it was going to cost you before.

5. Be interested. Butchers love nothing more than to tell you how damn good their meat is. I mean, that's what they do all day, so they gotta be proud of something, right? The more questions you ask, the more they will see you give a damn about what you are eating and what they are doing, and you will have a more pleasant, amicable and knowledgeable experience. And you will begin to build your cooking wisdom like nuthin' else. Yes, butchers also know how to cook meat and they can tell you any cooking time for any cut, and the best way to do it. Even in Brooklyn, for example, you get an Italian butcher – hey, presto! The butcher's grandmother's ragu recipe without even opening a cookbook. Sweet.

So it doesn't matter if you go in there and spend 4 buckaroos at a time. If you go enough and be friendly and interested, you will begin to have more appreciation for your meat, and for the person who hooks you up with it – preferably the freshest stuff at the most accommodating price for your budget.

Some Beef Cuts (more to come in a complete beef cut chart):

I'm Rollin' in Dough     $$$

• Filet Mignon - grill, pan fry for a short time
• Rib Eye Steak- grill, pan fry for a short time
• Strip Steak- grill, pan fry for a short time
• Brisket- Its a big piece so itll be expensive but feed a lot - plan to braise real slow, cure or smoke this

I've got a bit to Blow  $$

• Sirloin Steak- grill, pan fry for a short time
• Flank Steak- grill, pan fry for a short time
• Skirt Steak- grill, pan fry for a short time
• London Broil

I'm Dirt Effing Poor  $

• Swiss Steak- grill, pan fry for a short time
• Ground Sirloin- hamburgers or chili
• Beef Chuck
• Bone Marrow

A note on quantities:  Half a pound will get you through a nice dinner for one plus some left for lunch the next day.

A note on cooking times: Short means about minutes a side for an average sized piece of meat (say, a single steak). Long means brown it, and give it low to medium heat on the stovetop or oven for 2-3 hours + (low for tough cuts like chuck and medium for roasts).